Crocodile's Pampering
by Bunny Fair
Summary: If anyone found out, they'd surely be executed. However, it was more than worth the risk. He owed her, despite her weakness. She willingly took care of him, it was only fair she'd become his once he would escape. Crocodile x Impel Down Guard!OC
1. Chapter 1

Crocodile glared at the ceiling as he laid on the cool stone slab and reached up to comb his fingers through his hair, the chain between his wrists clinging. He grumbled softly as the greasey hair clung to his neck and closed his eyes, attempting to find a semi-comfortable position. He scratched his chin and twitched at the scruff of hair growing; a shave was overdue.

He sighed and cracked open an eye at the familiar sound of boots walking to his cell. He sat up and twitched when a piece of hair fell in his face. He rolled his eyes at the whistled tune and flexed his fingers as the inmates around him stirred.

The woman stepped up to his cell and smiled sweetly, asking, "Gonna come quietly, Sir Crocodile?"

He lightly smirked and stood, walking to the door. "Don't I always?"

She unlocked the door and hooked the chain in her hand to the one between his wrists. "Well, it is in your best interests to do so."

He stared down at her and allowed her to lead him. He stayed quiet and stood beside her in the elevator, listening to the old gears turn as they went up. She glanced up and smiled sweetly as the transponder snails turned their eyes elsewhere.

She softly hummed a tune and led him to her personal quarters, locking the door behind herself. She tossed off the hat and scratched her head, fluffing out her hair. "Ugh, those hats are too tight. I assume you'd like a bath first?"

He rolled his eyes and held up his arms. "How about you just uncuff me and let me undress in peace, woman."

She giggled and slid the key into the cuffs, grabbing them before they simply fell off. She set them on the table and he walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind himself. He walked over to the large tub and turned the knob, dipping his fingers under the water to test its' warmth.

He nodded once it warmed up and let it fill up before sitting on the edge. Sighing softly, he slowly removed his hook and set it aside before slowly undressing. He glanced at the water and turned around, dipping his feet in the water before lowering himself into it.

He let out a breath as the warm water rose around him and leaned back, bending his knees as the tub wasn't sized for him. The woman, Alice, poked her head in and smiled at him. She walked over and held out a cigar, just out of his reach.

He rolled his eyes and dryly asked, "And what is it you want this time?"

She hummed and played with the lighter in her other hand, tracing over the design. "Oh, I don't know. What can an imprisoned ex-warlord offer me?"

He gave her a look. "I get out and I make you my personal secretary."

She giggled and stepped closer, letting him take the cigar. "You better, if you get out."

He smirked and let her light it, taking a long drag off it. "I will and when I do, you're all mine."

She smiled and sat on the edge, dipping her cup into the water. "Uh huh. Sit up some and tilt your head back for me."

He breathed out the smoke and sighed softly, sitting up. He held the cigar between his fingers and closed his eyes as she poured the water over his hair. She paused between cup-fulls to let him smoke and twisted to set her feet in the water, grabbing the bottle of shampoo.

He set his cigar in the ashtray on the rim of the tub and closed his eyes as she began washing his hair. He relaxed as she scratched his scalp and closed his eyes, his shoulders visibly untensing. She smiled softly and rinsed it out, combing her fingers through his hair once it was clean.

He cracked open an eye and glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Enjoying yourself?"

She giggled softly and turned pink, grabbing the rag and soap. "Don't I always?"

He sighed and grabbed his cigar. "Yes, you do."

She smiled and started washing his shoulders and neck, massaging the thick muscles. He let out a slow breath of smoke and watched it float up, grunting when she massaged a thick knot. A stone slab could never be comfortable and there was no way he would be allowed a comfortable bed; at least, not permanently.

He lightly smirked and tilted his head when she meticulously washed his neck. Perhaps it wasn't the most agreeable situation to be in, but it had its' silver linings despite overall being boring and dull. The torturers didn't even bother with him, which would've given him some amusement.

He snuffed out the last bit of his cigar and glanced at her as she gently washed off the end of his left arm. She carefully washed off the grime gathered along the area where his hook sat. He eyed her and she smiled slightly, gently cleaning off the tender skin.

He took the rag from her and washed off his lower half, watching the water turn darker with dirt. She stood up and softly hummed a tune, pulling out a large towel. He stood up and stepped out, taking the towel from her to dry off.

She smiled and walked out, pulling her large desk chair out slightly. Continuing to hum her tune, she grabbed a small basket of scissors and razors and shaving cream. Crocodile stepped out in a pair of fresh prison pants and sat down in the chair, leaning back in the chair comfortably.

She giggled and started combing through his hair, carefully parting it before snipping away the unwanted length. "I do believe you're the most comfortable inmate here."

He hummed and closed his eyes, relaxing as she cut his hair despite the sharp object being near his still wet, still vulnerable neck. "I believe I am too. Perhaps I could simply be 'devilled away' like others."

She giggled and shook her head, carefully straightening out his hair. "Nah, you're too well-known."

He chuckled softly, cracking a small smile as she snipped away at his hair. He tilted his head whenever she nudged him and eventually tilted his head forward, feeling her shave the longer hairs on the back of his neck. She hummed a tune and patted his neck clean, gently ruffling his hair to shake out the loose hairs.

He rolled his eyes and straightened up as she combed it back. "Satisfied?"

She smiled and grabbed the bottle of shaving cream. "Not until I get that fuzz off your face. I'm sure it's been bothering you."

He leaned back as she rubbed the cream onto his face and simply stated, "This prison is an annoyance."

She hummed and grabbed the razor blade. "I know. Trust me, most the men are assholes and I'm not even talking about the prisoners."

He tilted his head back and stared at her as she gently shaved his face. Not many women worked in the prison and he could easily recognize the imbalance. Even the strongest women couldn't stand up to many of the prisoners, despite being in charge.

And then, her, Alice. She was the informal caretaker of the transponder snails and a secretary, and not even Magellan's secretary, she simply carried papers between officers. Despite the low rank, she was comfortable and content with being a low-rank member of the staff.

She truly was an enigma; happy with being a minor secretary but still willing to ruin her own reputation by taking care of him. He hated the idea of being taken care of, but she was gentle with him and was truly fond of him. It was actually quite nice; her soft hands and slow, steady movements were oddly comforting.

He allowed her to bathe him and trim his hair and shave his hair and even massage his sore back. In return, he promised to return the favor whenever he got out. Well, whenever he escapes, he certainly doesn't plan on simply letting himself rot away.

He hummed softly as she patted his face clean and she smiled softly at him. "Feeling better?"

He lightly smirked at her. "I'd feel better if I could get out of this dump."

She giggled and gently rubbed her fingers along his jaw, lightly kissing him. He rubbed her hip with his thumb and loosely wrapped his left arm around her waist. She hummed softly and slid into his lap, loosely hugging his shoulders. He held onto her and stood up, walking over to her large bed.

She smiled against his lips and pressed her thumbs against his shoulders, massaging the thick skin. He grunted and laid back, sinking into the soft mattress. She giggled softly as he visibly relaxed and continued massaging his shoulders, working her way to his upper arms.

He rubbed her hip with his thumb and rested his head on a pillow, watching her with half-lidded eyes. "Well," he mumbled, "now you're just groping me."

She giggled softly and kissed his cheek, mumbling, "Oh, just relax and enjoy the attention."

He lazily smirked and squeezed her hip, tucking her close. "As if I would turn this down."

She smiled and nuzzled close, resting her hands on his shoulders. He relaxed back and rubbed her back, closing his eyes. After a short nap, she'd bring dinner back to the room and they'd eat before he'd go back to his cell. A few hours together once a week was never enough, but it was pleasant enough.

Crocodile held her close as she easily dozed off and felt her breath brush over his neck. He silently swore he would get out of Impel Down and he would bring her with him. He just needed a way out.


	2. Chapter 2

Crocodile softly sighed as he sank back into the large tub and rested his head back, stretching out his legs comfortably. Finally, a tub that actually fit him. He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath as the hot water settled around him.

He was back where he belonged; not in Alabasta, no, but in power again. Starting from the bottom wasn't fun, but he quickly formed a new organization. Back in power and living comfortably once again.

He tilted his head slightly when the bathroom door opened and cracked open an eye at the soft sound of ice in a glass. He lightly smirked at Alice and she held up a glass of whiskey, smiling at him. She wore a simple black silk robe and one hand was behind her back. More importantly, he had Alice with him.

She smiled at him and nudged the door shut with her bare foot, walking over to sit on the edge of the large tub. "Whiskey?"

He took the glass from her and downed it, feeling the liquid burn into his chest. "Don't suppose you've got a bottle under that robe?"

She giggled and pulled it out, tugging the cork off. "Aw, how'd you know?"

He smirked and held up the glass as she refilled it. "You're also lacking any actual clothes under there."

She softly gasped, her smile widening. "You must be psychic."

He chuckled softly and drank some. "Just observant, dear. Why don't you take that off and join me instead of just sitting there."

She smiled and set the bottle on the ground, standing up to untie the robe. He lightly smirked at her and swirled his drink, holding out his left arm for her to grab as she lowered herself in. She faced him and loosely hugged his shoulders, resting her head on his chest.

He smiled slightly and rubbed her back with his left arm, drinking some whiskey. She smiled and leaned up, lightly kissing him before pulling away with a sour look. He snorted softly and finished off the glass.

She lightly pouted and splashed some water onto his chest. "You know I hate that stuff."

He chuckled softly and set the glass on the edge. "I didn't tell you to kiss me after I drank some."

She smiled and settled back down, resting her head on his shoulder. "No, you didn't."

He nodded and cupped some water in his hand, gently pouring it on her head to slick her hair back. She relaxed against him and smiled softly, resting her hands on his chest. He smiled slightly and continued the motion, feeling her body mold against his as she relaxed.

He smiled softly and held her waist with his left arm, mumbling, "Don't remember giving you permission to sleep on me."

She smiled against his skin, basking in the surrounding warmth. "Don't remember you pushing me off either."

His chest rumbled with a low chuckle, drawing a soft giggle from her. He would never push her away, especially not since she's back in his arms. He lazily combed his fingers through her hair and felt her breath move across his skin, chilling the water droplets that lingered.

He held her close and closed his eyes, thinking back to their grand escape from Impel Down. He had let her go at the gate to take over a warship and when Jinbe called upon the whales to help the others across onto the ship, she was nowhere to be seen. They had no time to waste looking for her, so they had to go on without her.

Crocodile had spent weeks waiting for something on her status; had she willingly stayed behind and given up on leaving the great prison? Or worse, had Magellan discovered their secret meetings and ended her life? Perhaps Teach had gotten ahold of her and was keeping her for himself or to blackmail him?

The answer eventually revealed itself in a passing rumor; that many guards and lower ranking staff had been transferred to other positions within the Marines after the war. Turns out even Marineford had lost more than just fighters and getting back on their feet required more staff than what they had.

However, there was no way for him to get into Marineford with their heightened security. Not to mention Akainu becoming Fleet Admiral would've meant a quick death to anybody remotely suspicious. However, he did have a few favors owed to him within the Marines and, after a few calls and well-placed threats, he discovered she had been assigned to organizing files in the lower levels.

A few calls later and she was being transferred out, only for her ship to be attacked and being destroyed. They wouldn't bother looking for her, either. He planned it perfectly, a small Marine ship being ravaged by pirates wasn't a new occurance and no survivors to report back to Headquarters. Regardless, no one would bother looking for a seemingly random secretary. Within a week of her being killed, she was back in his arms.

He tightened his grip around her waist and she hummed softly, lightly patting his chest. He relaxed his grip and looked down at her, seeing a soft smile looking up at him. He gently cupped her cheek and rubbed the soft skin with his thumb.

She sighed softly and tilted her head into his hand, lightly kissing his thumb when it brushed over her lips. "I love you."

He smiled slightly and drew her closer, pressing his lips to hers in a slow kiss. She loosely hugged his neck and smiled against his lips. She knew he would never say it, but she felt it. Not just in the way he kissed and held her. But in the way that he spent weeks practically devouring every news article and the way his chest ached in her absence. And in the way that he kept his promise, the way that he was purely selfish with her, and, most importantly, in the way that he let her love him without restraints.


End file.
